I used to feel really unhappy inside myself. Life was quite lonely without a partner, especially on Friday Night when everybody is hanging out. If I’m not hanging out with friends I feel quite lonely and I have nobody to share my life with. I used to live inside my head and I think I made different barriers for myself. The reason why I’m not going for a new relationship is.. I’m thinking what my parents want. It looks like I’m looking for what my parents want me to get as a husband.
When my last relationship broke up it was really painful for me so I think I linked a relationship equals pain so that’s why it’s a barrier for me to move forward for a new relationship. My breakthrough was realizing that using my analytical side, how much it blocks my emotion of feeling the fun; feeling different emotions in life and truly being able to connect with others and having peace of mind is peace and not thinking, not having too much thought going through myself.
I love my life now because I have… I think I have an attractive and sexy boyfriend! Now the one thing I’m looking for is that we are able to truly connect with each other. We are happy together. I have someone I really like to spend my spare time with and I have someone to wash my dishes for me! One of the criteria I was looking for a boyfriend is someone who can wash my dishes because its always the last thing I do and at the end of the day I don’t want to wash the dishes. I remember once he came to my house and I purposely left the dishes on the bench and then he saw the dirty dishes and I didn’t even asked him to wash my dishes and then he asked me, “Babe do you want me to wash the dishes for you?”. Yeah, I was really happy to find a man like that, I was hugging him from behind. I was doing the one thing inside my heart.
Instead of thinking, I learned how to use my emotions to connect with others and to communicate with others and to feel that true happiness. I found a new song called, “Ying Ying’s on fire, Ying Ying’s on fire, Ying Ying’s on fire”.
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