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Why Am I So Emotional?

Do you cry easily? Does it feel like the tears are just under the surface, waiting to erupt, or fall silently when you get in trouble at work or when something doesn’t go the way you’ve planned? Maybe you get angry quickly & snap at work colleagues or worse, your family & friends? What about guilt? Do you feel guilty about all the little things, missing a birthday, forgetting someone’s name? The thing is, over time these emotions can stack up and sit there, weighing you down.

Where did we learn about emotions?

I’m not sure about you, but I don’t remember ever going to a class at school and being taught about emotions. About how to get into a positive emotion and out of a negative emotion. My parents did the best they could, but they didn’t get taught about emotions either. I had to work it out myself, as I grew up, through trial and error. How to go from sad to happy, frustrated to calm, procrastinating to motivated, and to be honest, I wasn’t all that great at it. I’d get stuck in sadness or find myself feeling more negative emotions than positive emotions on a daily basis.

Teach using emotion

I often see parents with their kids in the supermarket. The kids are so excited, running around, usually straight to the chocolate aisle. And I see most parents trying to have a rational conversation with their kids, telling them in a practical way why they can’t have chocolate right now. Only, kids are not rational, they are emotional. I rarely see parents getting down to the same level their children, running around with them, running up to the apples saying excitedly ‘How many apples should we get this week?’ ‘Which ones should we choose?’ inspiring and teaching children using their emotions.

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What does it mean to be ‘too emotional’?

What do you think of when you hear someone say ‘She’s too emotional’ or ‘He’s too emotional’? Like most people, you probably think that it’s a bad thing. Like they get angry quickly, cry a lot, express or feel more negative emotions. I don’t often hear people say that someone is ‘too emotional’ because they are expressing or feeling positive emotions. Wouldn’t being ‘too emotional’ be a good thing if someone was feeling great amounts of love, or passion or excitement? How would that influence your relationship? Imagine saying to someone ‘My partner and I have too much fun. We’re too happy. We’re just too emotional.’ What about ‘I love my job too much! I’m too relaxed! It’s too exciting! I’m too confident!’? It’s a big difference isn’t?

What happens when you feel a few emotions intensely or often?

Imagine when you’re a baby, lying in the crib playing with a rattle and you lose grip of it and it donk’s you on the head. You can’t talk yet or identify the feeling but you begin to cry ‘Whhhaaaaa’. Someone comes along, a parent or a caregiver, picks you up and says ‘There there, don’t be sad, it will be ok’. As we grow and learn the meaning of words, we start taking that label of ‘sad’ and link it to the ‘Whhhaaaaa’ feeling, completely normal.

Do you want help with Sadness, Procrastination, Self-Sabotage, Confidence or Motivation?

Each time we feel sad we create a memory of that moment, like a photograph. As each moment with emotion occurs, we stack each of these photographs together with that sad or angry or guilty or other negative feeling attached to it. Over time this stack gets bigger.

The smallest thing used to trigger me

If you’re like I used to be, something so small could trigger me to be sad. I would do something like spill my coffee or stub my toe and when this happened I wouldn’t just feel a little irritated. I’d feel a deep sadness that would last for hours, days or weeks. I now know what was happening was that I was actually feeling that full stack of sadness, from all those past moments, in that one moment. It was like years of sad memories would happen all at once.

When that happens, how easy do you think it is it to go from sad to happy? Not very, right? When someone would say to me ‘Snap out of it’ ‘Just be happy’ I’d find myself digging the hole deeper because that was easier than trying to find a way out. If you’re in a little ditch, feeling the weight of just one sad moment, you can step out of it easily! If it’s a deep hole and you keep digging and digging and start noticing all the other moments of sadness it get’s harder to get out, not easier. At least that’s what it was like for me. I used to think that there were happy people and sad people and I was one of the sad kind. Only, what if you could turn it around just a little bit, just enough to keep moving? What if you could change the way that you think about being too emotional? Rather than too emotional being a bad thing, make it a good thing.

What people are saying about Emotion Academy:

"After many years of training, courses, and counselling in various forms I thought I had certain aspects of my life sorted. Yet completing Emotion Academy showed me that I had been running away from my emotions and not facing them. After Emotion Academy, now I have the tools to engage with myself and win the internal battles once and for all - Neil Welsh, Victoria

Shift your focus

I used to notice all the things that were wrong in my life, all the stuff that wasn’t working and I’d focus on that. You’ve probably heard or noticed that anything that you’re focusing on increases. Like when you buy a new car and suddenly you see that same car everywhere you go.

The same thing happens when you focus on the good stuff too. Some people call it appreciation. But, what are you focusing on? If you start noticing the positive emotions that you are experiencing on a day-to-day basis, you might find you’ll start to see some improvements.

Emotions Are Awesome!

What positive emotions do you feel on a daily basis? What positive emotions do you want to increase? Whatever you focus on and put energy into grows, so celebrate the good stuff. Celebrate the playful times with your kids, celebrate getting stuff done at work, celebrate the positive things. “But how do I start?” you ask.

1. Appreciate

So that when you’re feeling less than great you can use this tool to remember all the great times, start writing down all the things you appreciate in life. Start a note on your phone or write in your appreciation journal. Each morning or evening (or both) write 5 things you appreciate. I appreciate my beating heart, I appreciate the sun shining, I appreciate the air that I
breathe, I appreciate being able to read this article, I appreciate….. Then refer to this whenever you need it.

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Melisa Grigg - Head Coach & Trainer

Melisa was stuck in sadness for 15 years, hated her job, was overweight and her relationship had just ended. Melisa inspires people with her story and now teaches how she sorted her life out. She worked out how to be happy and how to lose over 30kg of body weight.  In simple steps she teaches how you can stop procrastinating, find confidence, stop being so sad and finally start to find true meaning and purpose in your life.

2. Music

Make a playlist of great songs. Songs that make you happy, music that reminds you of a fun moment, music that gets you excited. Music is a great way to change your mood and enhance good feelings. If I’m starting a new playlist, I keep it simple and begin with one song. Then if I hear a great song when I’m out or hanging with friends I’ll add that song to the playlist and then another. Before too long I have a list of positive tracks that I listen to when I want to feel great. Music is a great resource. What will you call your playlist?

3. Environment

Find some fun people to hang out with. People who are so fun and enjoy life and spend more time in positive emotions. How do you find them? Start a list of all the things that you like to do for fun (rock climbing, book club, dinner club, live music gigs etc.) and go do those things. When you’re doing the things you enjoy, you’ll find other people also having fun, it’s infectious, in the best way!

Increasing positive emotions in your life can happen in small ways over time, start with baby steps. And like a snowball rolling down a hill, the more positive moments you collect, the bigger your snowball will get over time. So start collecting!

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