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I Was Overthinking Everything

Most of my life I was caught up in my head, stuck into a computer kind of, looking at the wall for different words that were code, like some sort of logical thing that I could think my way around that I could, approach of people as though they were computers. That was really the only way I thought that I could communicate to people. I was completely missing the emotional component the, the connection, the things we actually feel with someone else. I was unable to really access that because I was stuck so much in thinking and thinking.

I thought that thinking was the only way to really get anywhere in life, that it was all about being smart, being intelligent. I thought that I could think my way to any problem to any situation and eventually get what I wanted. But the thing is people aren’t computers, and it was a huge thing for me, when I realized what I was missing out on. I discovered that really what I was missing was being able to access my feelings my emotions at a certain level that would allow me to connect with people.

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“I was caught up myself always thinking and thinking, but once I was able to stop that and really, just feel, it really changed everything for me.So many emotions I can just flow through me and then connect with somebody else at a level that I wasn’t capable before that.”

What I came to realize was I’d been missing out on so much in life by treating everything like a computer. Like over thinking everything that I’ve been really missing out on. The emotions and experiences and the things that really make people feel human, because I, I’d just really hadn’t realized that that there was more than thinking. I thought that thinking was the best way to approach everything. But I came to realize, that, really there’s so much more in life.

And that’s when I started to feel the, pain of the way I was that really push me through. Before my breakthrough I couldn’t really feel emotions. Compared to what I can now it was about 10 percent. I remember sitting down, looking at a brick wall and thinking, “I wish I could touch that, I wish I could touch that and I really feel what I felt like,” and I just felt so much pain inside that I couldn’t, I couldn’t really feel what, what things actually for, it was like a massive of barrier between me and the rest of the world.

When I finally had my breakthrough it was like being five years old again because that was the last time I’d felt emotions in that level.

When you’re stuck in your head, it’s such a massive barrier between you and the rest of the world. That it’s, impossible to really sense things and pick things up at that level and, the difference it makes, talking to people is really incredible because, when you are in your head, you only think about the words you are saying. You only think about what the words the people are saying. It’s like you missed so much meaning and so much communication. But when you are able to just communicate with somebody directly and you drop the shyness and just be yourself, then that’s when you’re able to really feel how the other person feels and connect with them on a level that I haven’t been able to do with my entire life. And when I discovered that it was, naturally massive and changed everything.

Since my breakthrough it’s completely changed my life. It’s changed the way that, that I interact to people, it’s like I feel like I’m comfortable just being myself and being natural and just connecting with people. Even like something, like buying a coffee or something is so much more pleasurable now because I get to connect with the people behind the counter. I get to say “hey how’s it going?” and, and you know just to have that moment with somebody. I get to have so many any of those moments every day. Even just walking down the street, just smiling at somebody is such a pleasurable experience that I’d never experienced before because I was caught up in my head always thinking and thinking and thinking. But once I was able to, to stop that and really, just feel, feel what’s around me, my surroundings and be in the moment it really changed everything for me. It changed everything really because, just being able to touch things like feeling clothing, feeling another person when I’m giving them a hug, and feeling my partner in a relationship and being able to connect with them and give the gift of love at a level that was 10 times, a 100 times higher.

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