I used to think that there was something wrong with me and I felt as if everyone was staring at me all the time. I was so shy and I felt embarrassed of who I was. I felt as if in order for me to be able to be around others or interact in social situations, that I needed to be someone else. I would work hard to hide what I thought were my flaws,
I was frustrated with my life. On the outside it looked like I was doing pretty well for myself. I was engaged, I had a well-paying job as a manager in a high-end restaurant and I had friends and family who loved me. But I wasn’t happy. My health had taken a backseat to my career and the weight was piling on. I didn’t know what self-care was, instead relying on wine and copious amounts of food to dull the storm of emotions that I was feeling underneath my smile.
Have you ever watched someone else start their own business, excel in a sport or a job role and noticed that you felt a little bit negative about it? Even if you really wanted to be happy and excited for them, something inside you felt like picking at their success. Maybe someone else got the promotion or the role that you wanted, or the kids, the house, the looks, the apparent happiness that you wanted.
Do you get irritated or angry when things don’t go the way you’d like or expect, whether it’s at home, at work, with your health or day to day living? Have you ever snapped at your loved ones in a moment of anger, immediately feeling guilty about it afterwards? Ever started a fight with your partner for no reason, or forgot why you were arguing half way through, but you just kept going anyway? Do you blame others for the situations you find yourself in?
I used to be a master procrastinator. In fact, I was so good at procrastinating that I could put anything off. I wasn’t proud of this however, and it definitely was affecting my health, my relationships and my career. But I didn’t know what to do about it, until I finally learned that I was just creating more and more pain for myself, when I didn’t have to. I didn’t need to feel so uncomfortable.
Are you someone who loves change and embraces chaos, or do you tend to like to know what’s about to happen and have a plan way in advance? What do you do when things don’t go to plan or don’t match up with the changes that you expected? Life can sometimes throw out some big life changes that we don’t anticipate, until we’re right in the middle of them. What do you do then? Whether it’s a relationship that’s ended,
These days you will often find me speaking to large groups of people at meet-ups, webinars, hangouts and sometimes from stage. It is something I really enjoy and love to do, but in the very beginning, before I even had a business, it was a challenge. A long time ago, I used to plan events in the hospitality industry and I would get stressed out over every little detail. I wanted to make sure that everything was perfect and that it ran smoothly.
Do you struggle with self-worth or low self esteem? Do you have those moments when it feels like nothing you do seems to matter? Have you ever been caught up in those thoughts that tell you that you’re no good or you’re not good enough? I used to think this way, and those sorts of thoughts just kept going round and round in my head, until I actually start to believe them.
Maybe you notice it most at work,
Are you like I used to be? Do your thoughts seem to constantly be plagued with more negative thoughts than positive ones? Do you find yourself constantly finding fault with everything, and even if you don’t say it out loud, you’re thinking it?
I’m a little embarrassed to say, I used to find fault with everything. If it was a beautiful sunny day, ‘I might get burnt’. If we were going to the beach,
Do you ever get frustrated? Annoyed by life and its problems? Do you tend to blame everyone else for your problems? Maybe you keep remembering and reliving times from your childhood, and it’s still affecting your life, your career, your health or your relationships even today. Maybe your partner left you and your relationship with your kids has been affected, or you were made redundant and haven’t found another job yet.
For years I used to blame others whenever anything didn’t go to plan in my life and it left me feeling frustrated and stuck.
I get it. I used to come home from work each day thinking things like ‘Life sucks,’ Work sucks,’ ‘I can’t do anything right,’ ‘Everyone hates me,’ ‘Nothing ever goes my way’. But if someone had asked me how my day was, I’d casually reply ‘Oh I’m just having one of those days’. As if it wasn’t affecting me as much as I really felt it was.
But really, every time I said these words to myself or thought how horrible my day was,
I know that life isn’t meant to be easy, but I really used to struggle every day. I’d struggle to get out of bed every morning or go to work in a job I didn’t enjoy. I was shy and found it hard to meet new people. I wanted to be dating, but that was just too much to handle.
Once in a blue moon I’d get the courage to go on a date,
Do you ever get the feeling that you are not good enough and that it doesn’t matter what you do because someone else is doing it better, has done it first or they have an opinion about what you are doing? The disappointment of not meeting your own, or a loved ones expectations can be difficult and lead to less than positive feelings. I was so sensitive to others opinions of me that it didn’t matter whether it was at work,
Do you find yourself getting irritable for almost no reason? Or do you find yourself suddenly feeling down without knowing why? If you are feeling these emotions and you don’t know the reasons behind them, don’t think that you’re losing your grip. There are a lot of factors that can influence going through an emotional roller coaster ride, and sometimes, these factors go by unnoticed.
It wasn’t like I wanted to be cranky.
I used to get so frustrated over the most minor things. One moment I’d be fine, I’d feel like I was keeping it together and then all of a sudden woosh! This emotion would rush up inside of me and I’d find myself speaking harshly or fussing about something like stubbing my toe or missing the train as if it was the end of the world.
If you’re anything like I used to be,
I used to hate being alone. It was when I was alone that I would find myself thinking of the things that were not working in my life. I’d feel scared that no-one loved me, that no-one would EVER love me and that no-one cared.
I used to do anything not to be alone. Anything to distract myself from less than great thoughts and emotions, from feeling uncomfortable or from tough conversations. I found so many ways to distract myself from life but all the while I was still focusing on that feeling of aloneness.
Do you sometimes feel as if you’re just cruising through life on autopilot? You get up, go to work, make small talk with your colleagues, come home, eat dinner, sit on the couch and try to switch yourself off as you switch on the TV. Weekends are for sleeping in and catching up with friends but they never seem long enough. A part of you knows there’s more to life, but it’s easier to dream about it than to feel vulnerable facing it in real life right?
I used to feel like the positive emotions I experienced were quiet, and the negative emotions and thoughts in my head were turned up loud. It was definitely the wrong way round. Sometimes the good emotions like happy, fun, joy, passion were so quiet I’d miss them. I didn’t even realise they were there to feel, until I looked back at experiences with friends or family and realised that they were really good times. I felt like I’d missed out.