I was frustrated with my life. On the outside it looked like I was doing pretty well for myself. I was engaged, I had a well-paying job as a manager in a high-end restaurant and I had friends and family who loved me. But I wasn’t happy. My health had taken a backseat to my career and the weight was piling on. I didn’t know what self-care was, instead relying on wine and copious amounts of food to dull the storm of emotions that I was feeling underneath my smile.
Do you get irritated or angry when things don’t go the way you’d like or expect, whether it’s at home, at work, with your health or day to day living? Have you ever snapped at your loved ones in a moment of anger, immediately feeling guilty about it afterwards? Ever started a fight with your partner for no reason, or forgot why you were arguing half way through, but you just kept going anyway? Do you blame others for the situations you find yourself in?
Are you someone who loves change and embraces chaos, or do you tend to like to know what’s about to happen and have a plan way in advance? What do you do when things don’t go to plan or don’t match up with the changes that you expected? Life can sometimes throw out some big life changes that we don’t anticipate, until we’re right in the middle of them. What do you do then? Whether it’s a relationship that’s ended,
These days you will often find me speaking to large groups of people at meet-ups, webinars, hangouts and sometimes from stage. It is something I really enjoy and love to do, but in the very beginning, before I even had a business, it was a challenge. A long time ago, I used to plan events in the hospitality industry and I would get stressed out over every little detail. I wanted to make sure that everything was perfect and that it ran smoothly.
For years I suffered from this problem. “I don’t mind” “What do you want to do?” “No, you decide”. Have you ever been around one of those people, or, are you one yourself? Being so indecisive that you just never make a decision.
I used to suffer from this infliction, which frustrated my friends and family, but most of all, it frustrated me. It meant that I never actually got to do what it was that I wanted to do.
Do you find it almost impossible to feel like you’ve done a good job? If you get praise from a friend or work colleague, do you brush it aside? Is nothing you do ever good enough for YOU? Having impossible standards and in many cases not even knowing what your standards are, can be a constant source of pain. On one hand you want praise and recognition and on the other hand you push it away,
When I was younger, it felt really important for me to feel in control all the time. I didn’t like uncertainty or when things did not go to plan. And definitely do not surprise me for my birthday! I used to plan my day minute by minute. I literally had a schedule for the day where I would schedule the time to get things done, but also all the little things like brushing my teeth and getting dressed or cleaning up.
Do you ever get frustrated? Annoyed by life and its problems? Do you tend to blame everyone else for your problems? Maybe you keep remembering and reliving times from your childhood, and it’s still affecting your life, your career, your health or your relationships even today. Maybe your partner left you and your relationship with your kids has been affected, or you were made redundant and haven’t found another job yet.
For years I used to blame others whenever anything didn’t go to plan in my life and it left me feeling frustrated and stuck.
Are you usually late or punctual? Do you deliver your tasks for the day on time? Are you able to accomplish everything that you need to accomplish? Do you have an achievable to-do list or an never-ending list? Do you get stressed easily and overwhelmed by all that you feel you need to do?
I used to feel like I was wasting so much time. I had so much to do and never enough time to do it in.
Do you ever get the feeling that you are not good enough and that it doesn’t matter what you do because someone else is doing it better, has done it first or they have an opinion about what you are doing? The disappointment of not meeting your own, or a loved ones expectations can be difficult and lead to less than positive feelings. I was so sensitive to others opinions of me that it didn’t matter whether it was at work,
Do you find yourself getting irritable for almost no reason? Or do you find yourself suddenly feeling down without knowing why? If you are feeling these emotions and you don’t know the reasons behind them, don’t think that you’re losing your grip. There are a lot of factors that can influence going through an emotional roller coaster ride, and sometimes, these factors go by unnoticed.
It wasn’t like I wanted to be cranky.
I used to get so frustrated over the most minor things. One moment I’d be fine, I’d feel like I was keeping it together and then all of a sudden woosh! This emotion would rush up inside of me and I’d find myself speaking harshly or fussing about something like stubbing my toe or missing the train as if it was the end of the world.
If you’re anything like I used to be,
How many times do you catch yourself saying yes to something you don’t really want to do? Going out with friends when you really want to stay in and have an early night. Helping someone move house when you have a project or assignment due. Going to dinner with family or friends when you would prefer to spend the money on something else. Picking up the phone and listening to a friend talk about the things going on in their life when you have things you of your own to deal with.
I used to think that celebrating was only for birthdays, weddings, engagements, births and so on. Until I discovered that celebrating the little things everyday was important, I didn’t just start feeling more positive emotions, I started to get more done, and started enjoying doing things I used to hate!!! It was incredible, like a secret weapon to productivity.
The feeling of celebrating is an emotion that many people save for certain times in their life.
Life is busy. There’s so much to do. Go to work, pay the bills, catch up with family and friends, plan ahead, not to mention all the apps on our phones with notifications every few minutes letting us know what someone posted on Facebook. We have an event coming up or have to make sure you rsvp to your friends birthday, emails, SMS, Snapchat. The list goes on and on.
How technology affects us
There was a time before technology got as advanced as it is,
Have you ever found yourself looking at your life? Maybe looking at where you’re living, what job you’re in, looking at your partner and maybe your kids, your friends and maybe even looking at yourself in the mirror wondering how did I get here? “This isn’t what I pictured my life to look like” “This is not where I thought I would be right now”.
Are you confused about what you are going to do next in your life?
Have you ever caught yourself saying “It’s Not Fair” when a colleague gets promoted ahead of you (and you were more qualified!)? Is this followed quickly by the thought “Why does this always happen to me?” “Everyone else gets the opportunities, the raise, the happy marriage, the good metabolism (you know the one where you can eat anything and not get fat), but not me!” “Why is it so easy for everyone else but it’s a struggle for me?”
It’s not fair!
I used to wake up each morning; contemplating whether it was worth the effort to get out of bed and go to work that day. It wasn’t that I was depressed, it’s that I was so unbelievably jacked off at the cards life had dealt me. I was that seething in my own cesspool of anger; it felt like a way of getting revenge; for circumstances that riled me. Sometimes, life throws you a curve ball and you strike out,
Why do you wake up in the morning? And…do you start your day with a bang? Are you being grateful for: the gifts in your life, a roof over your head, food on the table, a warm cosy chair. And how lucky you are, to even be alive! I know that many people around the world today are not so lucky. Some of them do not have; a home, food, shelter, or family. Imagine that,