Growing up I always wanted to fit in, I got so good at adapting to situations that it was all I did and I felt like the real me was lost. I was shy so would put on a confident mask in social situations, when I was invited to a party or go to a wedding or social function. I’d put on my ‘get it done’ mask for going to work, I remember saying to myself again and again,
Real confidence is more than an emotion. It’s about a way of being. I used to think that some people were just born confident or had a really amazing childhood filled with positive affirmations from those around them, and that’s how they grew into confident adults. I personally couldn’t remember ever feeling confident in my life and I used to believe that I never would because “that’s just who I am”. If you’ve ever lacked confidence in any area of life,
Do you feel lonely? Do you want to feel more connected? Many people feel lonely, or are searching for that sense of belonging to a group that resonates with them. Sometimes it’s that there have been some major life changes happening and they’ve let go of their past relationships, friendships or groups where they used to feel comfortable, and now they might not be sure where they belong anymore. Sometimes it’s that they’ve grown beyond their current groups and are looking for something different than where they’ve been before,
I used to think that there was something wrong with me and I felt as if everyone was staring at me all the time. I was so shy and I felt embarrassed of who I was. I felt as if in order for me to be able to be around others or interact in social situations, that I needed to be someone else. I would work hard to hide what I thought were my flaws,
Do you agonise over making decisions? Have you been finding it difficult to prioritise at work, or in your day to day life? Does everything seem like it’s an important decision that you’re afraid to mess up or make the wrong choice?
I used to spend so much time thinking and overthinking about every tiny choice that I felt I needed to make in my life. Whether it was about what to eat,
Everyone knows those moments in a conversation, where suddenly there’s a break in the flow, and a pause in the breath, while each of you waits for the other to say something clever. Maybe you take a sip from your empty glass, or avert your eyes whilst searching your brain for something quick to fill the awkward space. It feels like forever, until someone breaks the silence with an offer of more wine, a stiff laugh or bringing the talk back to noticing the weather.
Have you ever watched someone else start their own business, excel in a sport or a job role and noticed that you felt a little bit negative about it? Even if you really wanted to be happy and excited for them, something inside you felt like picking at their success. Maybe someone else got the promotion or the role that you wanted, or the kids, the house, the looks, the apparent happiness that you wanted.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been interested in what makes people confident, successful and happy in life. I’ve read so many books on the topic than I can count on my fingers and toes, and I’ve continuously invested in myself by doing courses and training in human behaviour, how the mind works, emotions and success strategies. I really enjoyed reading biographies about people who had already achieved success in many areas of their lives.
When I was little, I used to hate it when my parents would argue or when my friends didn’t get along. I would take it upon myself to make them feel better, or find a way to try and “fix” the situation. My teachers said I was a “sensitive soul” who often took on other people’s feelings as my own. I kept on doing this throughout my life, and in the beginning it seemed to work for me,
Have you ever really wanted to do something but didn’t follow through or even start? Do you have this feeling that you know you can be and do more than you are? Have you ever felt trapped in the roles that you play throughout life, never feeling as if you are fully expressing yourself, or truly bringing your whole self to the table? I was at a point where I couldn’t help but wonder, what happened to all the things that I was going to be,